These Things I'll Never Say
by Kuro Nagaski River
Summary: Cause I'm feeling nervous Tryin' to be so perfect 'Cause I know you're worth it, you're worth it Yeah... Song Fic. OneShot. DeidaraXOC.


Hey guys, I don't own Naruto or the song, if i did this would have really happened.

Hikari sat on her bed staring at the ceiling. She groaned as she gripped the sheets. It was getting harder. What was harder you ask. Trying to control her feelings for a certain blonde member. Usually she openly mocked him in front of the others. Call him stupid, an idiot and a woman. Man lady to exact. She had always done that to conceal the feelings that had been growing since she had first met him. Hikari always knew somewhere in her mind that he returned her feelings. But she didn't want to let herself acknowledge this yet. Hikari wasn't ready for a relationship. She had gotten out of a really bad one a while ago. But that was the whole reason she had come to Akatsuki in the first place. To get revenge on the one who had left her.

Hikari sighed refocusing her thoughts away from the past and back to the present. "Whatcha sighing 'bout?" Hikari jumped with a start as she caught site of the person standing over her. It was a small girl with hair redder than blood and eyes greener than an evergreen.

It was her partner and roommate Sasukie. Sasukie giggle as she looked at the expression on her friends face. Something devious flashed in her eyes and Hikari knew something was going on. She sat up and moved to edge of the bed. Away from Sasukie. Her friend watched carefully, as she did this her giggling never ceased and her smile grew wider. "So what were you thinking about?" Sasukie said slowly walking over to her partner and sitting down. Hikari's face flushed. She jumped and put her hands in front of her. "N-nothing." She as she attempted to pretend nothing happened.

Sasukie just smiled. She knew for a fact what or _**who**_ Hikari was thinking about. She did this a lot now a days. Just drifted off into a trance while her face slowly but surely grow deep red. "You were thinking about _**him**_, weren't you?" Sasukie asked her smile now a smirk her hands behind her supporting her weight.

Hikari's blush deepened as waved her hands frantically ranting unintelligibly. Sasukie was the only one she acted like this toward, if anyone else mentioned her crush in any way they were punished. Sasukie was lucky as she was Hikari's best friend and had been since childhood. She smiled as she stood up. Her height compared to Hikari's was noticeable being about half a foot shorter. She walked over to her and smiled. Hikari stopped her flailing and screaming to notice her. Sasukie just smiled devilishly and walked out of the room. Hikari stared at the door she had left through. A sudden feeling of dread wound it's into her stomach and tied itself in knots.

_Ladatadata ladatadatadadadatadada dadadadada_

I'm tuggin' at my hair  
I'm pullin' at my clothes  
I'm tryin' to keep my cool  
I know it shows

Hikari walked over to the mirror in her room. As started at her reflection she noticed her hair had become messed up during her talk with Sasukie. She started to tug and pull at it, as she finally began to fix it she noticed her clothes were messy too. Hikari sighed. She couldn't go out of room like this. What would happen if _**He**_ saw her? Hikari sighed as she smoothed out her clothes. She glanced back in the mirror to make sure she was presentable. Her face was still red and her eyes looked slightly puffy. She still looked terrible but it would have to do. If she stayed her room to long the others would get worried.

Hikari exited her room, running into someone as she did so. "Geez, watch where you're going!" "Same to you!" Hikari froze as she heard the voice. She looked up from the ground to see none other than the object of her affection. Her face went a deep shade of red as did the person's in front of her. "S-sorry, I didn't realize it was you." Hikari almost melted when she heard him speak but kept herself together. "Yea, No it's okay. It's my fault, shoulda watched where I was going." The man in front of her laughed nervously.

_I'm staring at my feet  
My cheeks are turning red  
And I'm searching for the words inside my head_

Hikari started at her feet trying to think of something to say. The person with her beat her to it. "Hey, H-Hikari, you want to go out sometime?" Hikari's head shot up to look her companion in the eye. His face wore a nervous yet hopeful expression. Hikari stood still shock written on her face. She had always known how he felt about her but he had never acted on his feelings. Hikari slowly regained control. On the outside she kept her mouth in a thin line and her eyes stared straight past him as she spoke. "This is a joke isn't it? I'm sure Tobi or Sasori put you up to this. Well, No Deidara, I don't want to."

_'Cause I'm feeling nervous  
Tryin' to be so perfect  
'Cause I know you're worth it, you're worth it  
Yeah..._

Hikari brushed past Deidara her eyes fixed solely on the floor. If she had looked up she would have seen the expression of despair on Deidara's face. But she didn't. Deidara lifted his head slowly to look Hikari's retreating back. He sighed sadly and walked down the hall to his and Sasori's room. The puppet looked up at the sound of the door. He smiled as he saw his partner walk over to his bed. Sasori put his puppet down and turned to face Deidara. "So how did it go with Blind lady?" Deidara glared at Sasori from under his hair. "Don't call her that." "Oh, someone's defensive." Sasori grinned. Deidara flipped him off. Sasori's grinned widened, "I take it that it went well." That was it. Deidara grabbed Sasori and shoved him into a wall. "Shut. Up." He growled.

Sasori smirked. "You haven't held me like this since _**we**_ were together." Deidara slammed him harder against the wall. His right hand was twitching toward the pouch on his hip. Sasori saw this. He kept smirking. "I take it that means she said no." That was it. Again.

Off in the distance Hikari heard an explosion. Sasori must've laid into Deidara. And he must've gotten angry. Hikari sighed sadly from her perch on the roof. She had wanted to say yes to him. But something held her back. Part of her believed that he didn't really mean it.

_If I could say what I want to say  
I'd say I want to blow you--away  
Be with you every night  
Am I squeezing you too tight?  
If I could see what I want to see  
I want to see you go down--on one knee  
Marry me today  
Guess I'm wishing my life away  
With these things I'll never say_

Hikari knew that eventually Deidara would move on. He wouldn't wait forever. This thought made her sad. She wanted to go to him and tell him how she cared. How much she was sorry every time she insulted him. Tears made their way to her eyes and down her face. She buried her face in her hands. Hikari felt somebody sit down beside her. She slowly lifted her face to see a burn and charred Sasori next to her. He was staring at the sky a placid expression on his features. Hikari tilted her head to side and narrowed her eyes at him. Sasori slowly turned to look at her. "So I hear you rejected the brat." Hikari's eyes widened and her face blushed light red. Her tears became slightly stronger too.

_It don't do me any good it's just a waste of time  
What use is it to you what's on my mind?  
If it ain't comin' out, we're not going anywhere  
So why can't I just tell you that I care?_

Sasori rolled his eyes and sighed. "You know you could just tell him how you feel you know." Hikari began to protest but Sasori shushed her with a hand. "But you have to accept your feelings of now and let go of your old feelings." Just then a shrill cry sounded over Sasori. Hikari turned her head around to see Sasukie standing being them at the entrance to the roof. Sasori sighed and stood up. He walked over to Sasukie. "What did you do now?" he said his voice montone and bored, hand covering his face. Sasukie frowned. "I don't know why you think I did it. Hidan was the one who screamed. I only redecorated his room and replaced his holy book thing with a bible." She rolled her eyes as she spoke. Sasori lowered his hand. "And where is Hidan now?" He asked regretting the question. Sasukie smiled as she looked evily back at the hideout. "His head is in pickle jar swinging around on the ceiling fan." Sasori groaned. "Lets go get him down." Sasukie pouted bet nodded her head. Sasori chuckled softly and kissed her forehead.

Hikari watched her friends leave. The part about Hidan was normal. Sasukie was constantly terrorizing everyone. But what Sasori had said before was odd. He never gave anybody advice. Not unless Sasukie made him. She turned her head back to the sky. Sasori had said that she had to let go of the past. But Hikari didn't understand what he what he meant. The only thing she could remember about her past was……………….Oh! That's what he meant. Sasori wanted to her to let go of the person she used to love. She had to let Sasuke go. Hikari smiled as she stood. From now on she would only think of Sasuke as someone she had to kill for vengeance. She frowned slightly as she clutched her chest under shirt. Letting go was easier than she thought. Maybe she just had to say to herself.

Hikari smiled as she said "From now on, I swear that the only feelings I have toward Sasuke Uchiha are those of hate and the desire for vengeance. I will get you Sasuke. I will make you pay for deserting me." Hikari smiled happily. Now she could tell him. She could go tell Deidara how she felt.

_Cause I'm feeling nervous  
Tryin' to be so perfect  
'Cause I know you're worth it, you're worth it  
Yeah..._

Hikari turned and ran back to the door that led to the hideout. She dashed down the stairs into the hallways avoid people as she searched for the one person she wouldn't normally look for.

If I could say what I wanna say  
I'd say I want to blow you--away  
Be with you every night  
Am I squeezing you too tight?  
If I could see what I wanna see  
I want to see you go down--on one knee  
Marry me today  
Guess I'm wishing my life away  
With these things I'll never say

Deidara sat silently on his bed. Clay sculptures strewn everywhere. After he had blown up Sasori (and the room) he had gone around in rage of despair and anger. Deidara had grabbed almost everything that he had ever made and thrown it against anything he could find. After a while he got and sat down. But being tired did nothing to quell his feelings. The most important person in his life had rejected him. It wasn't worth being here if she hated him. Deidara had loved Hikari since he had first laid eyes on her. She had been cold and rude to him at first, but then they developed a raptor of sorts. He would flirt with her and she would insult him. The time that they spent doing this only made him fall harder. It had taken all his courage today to ask her out. But it was useless. She had said no. Everything was pointless now.

Deidara was so far into his pit of despair he almost missed the knock on his door. He glumly got up and made his way to it slowly. Once it was open he lifted his head with great effort and looked into the eyes of the person who had knocked. Deidara almost stopped breathing. Hikari was standing in front of his door panting like she run a marathon (she sort of did but he didn't know that). Her face was red and wet. Her eyes were puffy like she had been crying. As soon he had opened the door her face broke into a wide smile.

Hikari smiled as soon as she saw him. But the expression as he opened the door made her heart ache. It was one of pure anguish and heart break. Her smile faltered slightly but she stopped before it fell. Deidara stared at her, his face now of complete surprised and shock. Hikari opened her mouth to speak but no words would come out. No, this could happen she had finally gotten to the point where she could admit she loved him and now she couldn't talk.

_(What is)What's wrong with my tongue?  
These words keep slipping away  
(I stutter)I stutter (I stumble)I stumble like I've got nothing to say  
_

Deidara watched as Hikari stood there smiling with her mouth open and no words. 'She must have come just to stare at me and think of what freak I am.' Deidara turned to go back into his room. His face once again contorted in agony. Hikari watched as Deidara turned to go. Her smiled fell and her eyes widened as she began to feel numb._  
_

_'Cause I'm feeling nervous  
Trying to be so perfect  
'Cause I know you're worth it, you're worth it_  
_Yeah..._

There was only one thought running through her head. '_No. He can't. I still haven't told him. No. NO!' _"STOP!" A hand shot out and grabbed an arm. Deidara stopped to see Hikari had grabbed his arm. His eyes went from her hand to face. It was lowered. Deidara couldn't see it. He slowly moved hand off his arm, though she only grabbed it again once he was turned around. Deidara didn't try to stop her. He moved closer to her until he was only a few inches away.

_[Verbal Acoustics]_

Ladatadata ladatadatadadadatadada dadadadada

Ladatadata ladatadatadadadatadada dadadadada

Deidara grabbed Hikari's face in his hands. Hikari had let go once she was sure he wasn't leaving. Deidara lifted her face up to look at him. Her face was streaked with tears. Her eyes focused on his. Her hands came up to take his. She took one in hers, by then Deidara had let of her face certain she wouldn't look away. Hikari had the palm face her. Deidara looked at her. A quizzical look on his face. Hikari took no notice and proceeded to kiss his palm. Deidara stiffened as he felt a strange sensation in his hand. Hikari pulled away and gently licked his palm before letting go.

Hikari smiled as she caught the expression on Deidara's face. It was a mixture of pleasure and confusion. She smiled, took a step forward and grabbed Deidara's collar pulling him down. Deidara only had a few seconds of coherent thought before she crushed her mouth on his. Her arms made their way around his neck and after a few second his arms went to her waist. Soon though they had to breathe and let go of each other. Both were panting, they just stared at each other as they did so. Hikari could see clearly what Deidara wanted. She smiled as she grabbed his hand again and slowly licked his palm. Deidara and without hesitation grabbed the grinning girl and dragged her to his room, locking the door behind them.

_I guess I'm wishing my life away  
With these things I'll never say_  
_I want to see you go down--on one knee  
Marry me today  
Guess I'm wishing my life away  
With these things I'll never say_

If I could say what I want to say  
I'd say I want to blow you--away  
Be with you every night  
Am I squeezing you too tight?  
If I could see what I want to see

These things I'll never Say...........


End file.
